BREAKING NEWS: Babies are expensive. Okay, so that isn’t a shocker to anyone, is it? Between diapers, formula, bottles, food, clothing and more, costs add up pretty quick. In fact, this article from Global suggested that some families have spent upwards of 10,000 dollars on their babies in the first year!
No doubt that you can cut costs in all areas, like buying gently used clothing and furniture and more. (For example, see how to save money on your baby’s nursery here!) However, having a baby is still expensive. Especially in places like America, where you need to pay for your hospital visit. This combined with maternity leave that definitely isn’t long enough, many mothers find themselves in this tough position: Can I afford to stay home with my baby? Do I NEED to work?
Unfortunately, many mothers are finding themselves needing to go back to work after maternity leave because they need to financially survive. Something that often comes with the territory is the guilt of leaving the house and your baby to go and work. Does this sound like you? How do you handle working mom guilt?
Ignore mom forums and other media outlets:
Why is this tip first and foremost? Many forums pose it that you need to be at home with your children or else you aren’t as good of a mom. When you see negative comments like this, it can become easy to take to heart.
Remember that all moms have their struggles and their triumphs. This applies to stay-at-home-moms, work-at-home-moms, and work-outside-the-home-moms. Every single mother has different challenges. Stay at home moms feel guilty that they aren’t helping financially sometimes, work outside the homers wish they were in the home, and work at homers wish they didn’t need to divide their time away from their child. No mother has it harder than the other, and no mother is better than the other. So do not compare yourselves to other moms.
Remember the Reason You Are Working Outside the Home:
Whether you are working outside the home because you need the money because you need to be around adults or other reasons, remember that reason. You are doing it for yourself, and for your family. You should never feel guilty about that.
Remember That You Are Awesome and That You Are Enough
Every mother wants to be the best mother. Everyone wants their child to grow up happy and healthy. Remember that even despite the hours you are away, the love you feel for your children will be what makes them thrive. Not being there every second of the day.
Don’t Think About What You “Should” Be Doing
The saying the grass is always greener always applies. It can be easy to think about how life would be better if you could change one or two things, but you can never have it all as a parent. Trade off’s are absolutely inevitable. This is unfortunate but true. So resist the urge to think about should’s and would’s and think about the things you are working so hard on for your children.
When You Are Present, Be Present
What do I mean? We live in the age of media and distraction. This is probably the hardest thing of all to do because in your valuable time you feel the need to catch up on social media, relationships with your other friends and tv shows. However, when you are with your kids, try hard to be actually present and not distracted. While it is impossible to NEVER be distracted, try and schedule time after they go to bed for calling your friends, checking the latest Instagram posts and more. Even though this is so hard, you’ll feel happy that you did.
Making the decision to work outside the home can be difficult. It brings struggles, but also triumphs. So don’t buy into the mindset that you need to ALWAYS be with your children 24/7. Remember that you are a great mother. You are doing your best, and NO ONE can make you feel guilty for that.
Do you work outside the home? What are your struggles? What are your triumphs? Comment below!
Related: How To Overcome the Baby Blues
Mom blogger, job coach, ESL teacher and mom to my little girl.