Why you should NEVER ask, “when are you having kids?”

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Think of the greatest disappointment in your life. Your biggest letdown. Now triple it.

You might ask, “what does that have to do with me asking someone when they are going to start having kids??”

never ask when someone is having kids

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Here’s the reality-

It takes on average 6 months to a year for a HEALTHY couple to conceive a child. This is just an average, and it can very well take longer. On average 15% of Canadians are infertile. That may seem like it isn’t a huge number, but that fact is staggering. Out of 37.6 million Canadians, that means that 564,000 cannot have kids. 

The reality is, is that couple you just asked, might possibly have snapped a little inside because they have been trying and trying with no positive results. Maybe they feel their bodies have failed them somehow because they cannot produce a child. This happens more often than you think. 

I’m not going to pretend to know what it is like to have to face a negative test month after month. Thankfully we found out our little baby was coming fairly quickly. But all the time I read of women who are physically afraid to test for pregnancy because they don’t want another negative. This makes my heart absolutely break for those girls.

So, when you think about asking someone the dreaded question “when are you gonna start having kids,” stop and remember that you don’t know what is happening behind closed doors. They may not want kids, they might be just thinking of having kids, and they may have been trying for years. So just, don’t ask, please?

See also:

5 things you should never say to someone who is pregnant:

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2 thoughts on “Why you should NEVER ask, “when are you having kids?”

  1. Amen sister! I’m one of those who can’t– and it does kill me a little inside whenever someone asks. I did start telling people that we want to adopt though– just putting it out there in the universe and hoping our baby will somehow make their way to us.

    1. Ahhhhh I’m sorry to hear that. Stay strong and I hope that it works out as soon as you’re ready 🤞🏻thanks for sharing!

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